The Savior, while manifesting his resurrected and glorified body to Thomas and others, once said, “…[B]lessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.” (John 20:29) While I do not wish to imply that I have been left in the dark in my quest to know of the reality of God, the atonement, and the gospel in general, I would categorize myself as one who has not seen. Despite this lack of an undeniable witness I can claim that I have a firm belief in the gospel, and I think I can say that I have been converted.
I take comfort in a recent teaching from Elder Christofferson, when he gave his inaugural apostolic address, in which he taught that, in general, conversion is a process and not an instant in time.
“You may ask, Why doesn’t this mighty change happen more quickly with me? You should remember that the remarkable [conversions] of King Benjamin’s people, Alma, and some others in scripture are just that—remarkable and not typical. For most of us, the changes are more gradual and occur over time. Being born again, unlike our physical birth, is more a process than an event. And engaging in that process is the central purpose of mortality." - Elder D. Todd Christofferson, 2008 General Conference, Born Again
Putting conversion in those terms, I can cite several experiences/processes that have contributed to my change of heart. I must mention beforehand that the below will be boring, but, as I recently tried to explain to my wife, Val, boring doesn’t need to preclude "good".
Baptism
On February 19, 1990, I, of myself, chose to be baptized and to make a commitment to follow the example and teachings of the Savior. I remember my simple but firm faith in the Lord, the feeling of purity of having my sins washed away, and my corresponding desire to keep myself clean for as long as possible. I also remember the day well since it was one of only a handful of days in my whole childhood in which there was snowfall in Phoenix. It was no descending dove, but it was nice to feel special and connected with God, even if it was just a coincidence. Finally, I also remember receiving my first set of scriptures: leather-bound and burgundy, with my name embossed in block letters. The sensation of opening up that same set of scriptures – the feel, the heft, the scent –still has the ability to bring me right back to that seat where they were first handed to me in that baptismal room so long ago.
Nauvoo
When I was about 15 years old I had the opportunity to go on a Young Men’s trip to Nauvoo (and nearby church history sites) with my dad and older brother and about 20 other attendees from my ward. To see the sites in person and to really internalize the struggles of the early saints and comprehend the urgency and sincerity of their/our cause was eye-opening for me. It helped that we had a very knowledgeable stake leader there (Steve Rizley) as our tour guide. He opened up the doctrines of the scriptures (D&C 121 in particular) and the history of the church in a way that made it all very real for me. I vividly remember touring places like Liberty Jail, Adam-Ondi-Ahman, Carthage Jail, etc., and I testified in a meeting then, and I testify now that Joseph Smith was a prophet. As secularism, changing times, and the other forces of the world occasionally crash in on me, that trip, and the feelings that accompanied it, have continually served as a source of strength for my testimony.
Temple Endowment
Receiving my endowments in the St. George temple on May 23, 2001, was a sacred experience for me. I’m glad for the covenants I was able to make there and for my opportunity to keep them throughout my life. The protection I get from the Lord and the reverence I feel for the temple help to round out my overall conversion.
Missionary
My mission was fairly typical, though undeniably special at the same time. I had an OK amount of success helping to bring people into the gospel; I had occasional small & simple miracles; I studied a lot (both doctrine and language as well as teaching methods) and consistently worked to validate my faith and my purpose; I learned a lot from my companions and fellow missionaries; etc. etc. One instance I vividly recall, however, is coming home one night to our garden-style apartment in Greensboro, NC, and sitting down on the couch and picking up a small study manual, known as the libro gris (the gray book), which had a lot of Book of Mormon commentary, and progress charts, and some of my personal notes. The day was exhausting but otherwise typical in most every way. But for some reason – perhaps because reading through a study manual at night in addition to my habitual and compulsory morning study was “going the extra mile” – I had a very strong sensation of happiness, positivity, peace, and validation.
Marrying Val
One of the biggest spiritual steps I’ve ever taken has been marrying Val. Her genuineness and sincerity as it relates to the gospel is so complete that it continually challenges and refines me, forcing me to intellectually and spiritually grapple with the tenets of the gospel, and improve my habits and behavior. (She is truly like a refiner’s fire.)
Israel
It is true that one need not literally walk where Jesus walked in order to metaphorically tread his path of discipleship, but I won’t deny that I felt very close to him by being on the temple mount where Isaac was nearly sacrificed but where Christ was actually sacrificed; and by sitting on the coasts of the Sea of Galilee; and by “abiding in the fields” in Bethlehem where the shepherds saw the angels; and by ponderously staring into a long-surviving olive tree in the Garden of Gethsemane; and countless other examples of sacred sites that called to mind the reality of the Savior and of the bible in general. But perhaps the site where I was most moved was in the Garden Tomb where our tour group stopped for a testimony meeting. I recall feeling both a spiritual and physical surety of the Savior’s atonement and resurrection. I testified then (and still feel this way) that I was envious of the two travelers on the road to Emmaus who declared, “did not our hearts burn within us?” But concluded that my heart also burned within me, and I was glad to somehow share in that experience and add to the composite witness of the reality of the resurrection.
Serving as Elders Quorum President
I can’t point to any stand-out experience in my service within my current calling that has converted me to the gospel; I can only say that the process has somehow helped me to make the more conscious decision to be a disciple of Christ. I care less now about my image with the world, and more about my standing with God. There is certainly lots and lots of room for improvement but I think it’s worth noting how this calling has helped me to convert.
Reading the Book of Mormon
I have tried to regularly read the Book of Mormon for much of my life. Sometimes it’s more challenging than it is satisfying, but on many occasions I have been awed by the depth, the straightforwardness, and the general spirit that accompanies the sacred book. There are several chapters (e.g. Alma 34, Mosiah 15, 2 Nephi 2/9) that have had a profound impact on me and on my understanding of the gospel. By way of example, just earlier today I was reading some of the Isaiah chapters in 2 Nephi capped off by Nephi’s commentary in 2 Ne 25. Sometimes, like today, I’m fortunate enough to really connect with Isaiah’s writings and grasp some portion of the beauty of the prose, the glory and magnitude of the prophesies, and the aptness of the symbolism. To finish those chapters and then jump into the commentary and prophesies of an Israel-fled, law-of-Moses-abiding, ancient American prophet (Nephi) who engraved such things as can be found in that chapter is nothing short of a spiritual feast. Countless experiences like this have greatly contributed to my conversion, and firmness of testimony.
Examples of Others
The faithfulness, firmness of testimony, and selflessness of the many prophets and apostles that I have seen come and go over my years serves as a comforting reminder of the truthfulness of our cause. Additionally, I must mention the faithfulness and teachings of my parents, my grandparents (my grandpa in particular), and my parents-in-law, as additional sources of strength in my overall conversion.
My Personal Relationship with God
As I mentioned at the beginning, I do not consider myself to be a man of spiritual connectedness (“a visionary man” as Sariah would say of Lehi) given to various manifestations, whisperings, dreams, impressions, etc. Nevertheless, I have had a cherished handful of identifiable moments in which I know that God was speaking to me. Incidentally, most of these have come through one form or another of priesthood blessings.
Conclusion
While my conversion story is more a diversified account statement than a “story”, I think it highlights the many ways in which the creature can steadily put off the natural man and become reborn in Christ.
I testify of our eternal relationship with God the Father. I believe in Jesus Christ and his atonement and resurrection and his infinite love for all of mankind. I know that Joseph Smith was the prophet of the restoration and that the Book of Mormon is a true account which validates the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the only true and living church on the face of the earth.
